A great way to learn Danish!

Now this is the way to learn Danish. Forget about the Jensen family, børnehave, buser etc etc etc.

Nothing like a marital nightmare to get me interested in flicking through the dictionary to find out more.

For this, I have to thank my insightful teacher, Ms C, for choosing some good texts for our forthcoming oral tests. Now I can safely go out to a dinner or party and hold my head high, knowing I can contribute to adult conversation and not have to bore everyone with my acute knowledge of playground rides or food items.

Here’s a quick translation of the pictured pages:

“You’re drunk,” says Per

He pushes her away.

“Why have you just got home now,” asks Inge angrily. “We had an arrangement.”

Per looks at her.
His eyes are cold.
There is no love in his eyes.
His mouth is narrow.
He doesn’t reply.
He turns from her and goes.
He goes into the bedroom.

“I am tired,” says Per and shuts the door.

But Inge opens the door again.

“You weren’t at the office,” shouts Inge. “Where were you?”

“I had a meeting,” says Per and looks away. (Yeah, right!!)

Inge grabs hold of Per’s coat.
She looks at him.

“I made dinner,” says Inge.



I finished this, my second Danish ‘book’, yesterday. It’s called ‘Alene’ (Alone).

It’s about a woman called Inge who prepares a dinner for herself and her husband, but he doesn’t show up. He seems to have been very busy of late.

In the process of waiting (alone as usual) she gets a tad sloshed on the old rød vin, as I would do myself. But, unlike me, the thought that her twenty-year marriage may be under threat doesn’t enter her mind.

Dear oh dear.


Just in case you don’t have time to read the book yourself, what transpires is Per, the louse, has been having an affair with a slut called Mette and all is revealed. The most distressing aspect is Mette is not a young bimbo after his cash but a mature 49. Inge is 52.

What a slap in the face!

Per demands a separation and, again, Inge is left alene. But, with true courage, she’s determined not to be the victim any longer and is going to get on and live her life and never be alene again.

Good for her!

Although it ends before you know what happens in the bigger picture, I’m pretty sure Per is diagnosed with prostate kræft and is forced to undergo a radical prostatectomy, which leaves him totally impotent. Mette thinks the better of being stuck with an invalid for the twilight years of her life and takes herself off to a resort in Thailand where she is kidnapped by a drug lord while riding an elephant through the Golden Triangle and spends the rest of her years in a lathered, fungus-filled sweat, trying to learn how to make decent coconut rice.

Inge meets a Danish shipping magnate (who shall remain nameless, in case he sues me for defamation) and discovers how much fun it is to be married to a multi-billionaire. She suddenly feels no pain about the ending with Per and keeps him in a lifetime supply of incontinence pads.