Banking in Denmark

Without doubt in my experience so far, Denmark must have the most complex system of personalised banking in the world.

Take for instance banking online with Danske Bank.

With my bank in Australia, logging on is just a matter of having a User ID and a password.

Not so with Danske Bank.

While I’m impressed and rather honoured they feel getting into my account needs security measures as provided by the banking gnomes of Zurich to the rich and famous, it is at the same time immensely frustrating.

It’s not a simple case of key in your User ID and password. Nope. You have to have a special calculator. This comes with an interim password so you can use it the first time to get a more permanent password. Then you can log on to the bank.

For that, you used to have to key in your User ID, then switch on your calculator, enter the password for that and up would come a number you used as the password for that particular time you logged on to e-banking. Phew.

If you transferred money, you again had to go through the rigmarole of getting another password from the calculator to allow that transfer. And so on.

Now, ‘to make it easier’, they’ve made us choose a permanent password for when we first log on and then we need to key in a password from the calculator to make transfers and confirm that with the password we originally log on with to e-banking.

Confused? So was I. In fact, I was beside myself with a mixture of anger and frustration the first few times because I ended up being blocked out for keying in the ‘incorrect’ password three times in a row. Seriously, it’s like a quest for treasure, just to get your account balance. And my balance is never like finding treasure.

On top of that, I just tried to transfer money into NQDII’s account but, obviously because it’s a Saturday, it won’t go through till Monday!

I wonder if this is the same all over Europe or just Denmark? I’ve never come across it before.

Then, a month or two ago I received a letter from Danske Bank saying that to ensure my banking security, they were writing to tell me my employer had been depositing my pay into my account with an out of date code (or something like that) and, for my ‘banking security’, they may not let it go through in the future.

This struck me as a tad odd. Do many people complain about money going into their account? I certainly don’t, in fact, the more the better I say! And if Danske Bank don’t put my pay in to my account they most certainly then will have one very cranky customer.

I love organising things like the Internet...

I apologise to the untold legions around the world who’ve undoubtedly missed me updating this blog over the last couple of weeks. I can imagine the disappointment! The sad fact is I’m having a lot of trouble having the Internet connected at home.

Here’s the situation:

Conversation 1 with Telia, early last week.

“Hi, I have my mobile phone with you and want to have the Internet connected as well.”

“Sure! What’s your address?”

I tell him.

“Yes, we can connect to that address. Which plan would you like?”

I tell him.

“Okay, that’s all I need to know. We’ll send you out some papers to sign and it should be on in around ten days time. If you want to ring to inquire about the progress, please do.”

“Thank you. I will.”



Conversation 2 with Telia, last Thursday night.

“Hi, four days ago I ordered an Internet connection and was told some papers would come out for me to sign and send back. Nothing has arrived yet.”

“Okay, what’s your customer number? I’ll check what’s happening.”

“Umm, actually I don’t have customer number…”

“That’s okay. Your address then.”

I tell him and he comes back shortly after…

“Umm, I think you have received no papers yet because we don’t connect Internet to Frederiksberg.”

“You don’t??”

“No. I’m sorry.”

“Oh. Okay. But the guy I spoke to…”

“Sorry.”

“Hmm. Okay.”

I hang up. I just want the Internet! I feel cut off from the outside world – well, my old, regular outside world.

As luck would happen, I turned on the TV in the living room when I woke up the next day (Friday), et voila! An ad for an ISP. I frantically jot down the number.

Later, at work, I give them a call.

Conversation 3 (I forget their name, will update later)


“Hi, I had booked the Internet with Telia…” And on I go, relaying the Telia saga.

“That’s fine. We can have it on for you by next Friday and we do connect to Frederiksberg. Now I have all your details, I’ll have it mailed out to you. It’s easy to install and you don’t have to wait for papers to be signed etc.”

“Fantastic!”

I am over the moon to think I’ll be able to catch up with people in seven days time! And this guy was very friendly and organised.


Then I came home Monday night to find the Telia papers had come in the mail. It was too late to ring.

I arrived home Tuesday night (late) to find a note from Danish post saying I had a parcel from Telia to collect.

OMG. How insane. This is turning into a circus.

Do I keep Telia or go with the new place? If I do decide to keep Telia, will it actually work????

Grrrrrrr.

I’ve yet to ring Telia. I have too much on but I am hoping the alternative Internet provider ‘stuff’ will arrive tonight.

But can you see the next drama? I shall be stuck with both, paying a squillion crowns a month for the privilege.

I should also advise newcomers to Denmark that none of the ISP sites in Denmark are translated into English, so keep your dictionary handy!