I love organising things like the Internet...

I apologise to the untold legions around the world who’ve undoubtedly missed me updating this blog over the last couple of weeks. I can imagine the disappointment! The sad fact is I’m having a lot of trouble having the Internet connected at home.

Here’s the situation:

Conversation 1 with Telia, early last week.

“Hi, I have my mobile phone with you and want to have the Internet connected as well.”

“Sure! What’s your address?”

I tell him.

“Yes, we can connect to that address. Which plan would you like?”

I tell him.

“Okay, that’s all I need to know. We’ll send you out some papers to sign and it should be on in around ten days time. If you want to ring to inquire about the progress, please do.”

“Thank you. I will.”



Conversation 2 with Telia, last Thursday night.

“Hi, four days ago I ordered an Internet connection and was told some papers would come out for me to sign and send back. Nothing has arrived yet.”

“Okay, what’s your customer number? I’ll check what’s happening.”

“Umm, actually I don’t have customer number…”

“That’s okay. Your address then.”

I tell him and he comes back shortly after…

“Umm, I think you have received no papers yet because we don’t connect Internet to Frederiksberg.”

“You don’t??”

“No. I’m sorry.”

“Oh. Okay. But the guy I spoke to…”

“Sorry.”

“Hmm. Okay.”

I hang up. I just want the Internet! I feel cut off from the outside world – well, my old, regular outside world.

As luck would happen, I turned on the TV in the living room when I woke up the next day (Friday), et voila! An ad for an ISP. I frantically jot down the number.

Later, at work, I give them a call.

Conversation 3 (I forget their name, will update later)


“Hi, I had booked the Internet with Telia…” And on I go, relaying the Telia saga.

“That’s fine. We can have it on for you by next Friday and we do connect to Frederiksberg. Now I have all your details, I’ll have it mailed out to you. It’s easy to install and you don’t have to wait for papers to be signed etc.”

“Fantastic!”

I am over the moon to think I’ll be able to catch up with people in seven days time! And this guy was very friendly and organised.


Then I came home Monday night to find the Telia papers had come in the mail. It was too late to ring.

I arrived home Tuesday night (late) to find a note from Danish post saying I had a parcel from Telia to collect.

OMG. How insane. This is turning into a circus.

Do I keep Telia or go with the new place? If I do decide to keep Telia, will it actually work????

Grrrrrrr.

I’ve yet to ring Telia. I have too much on but I am hoping the alternative Internet provider ‘stuff’ will arrive tonight.

But can you see the next drama? I shall be stuck with both, paying a squillion crowns a month for the privilege.

I should also advise newcomers to Denmark that none of the ISP sites in Denmark are translated into English, so keep your dictionary handy!

My brilliant big day!

I woke up to very grey, wet clouds and teeming rain. Some of those wet clouds were also in my head and coming out my nose. But that’s not enough to deter someone from the colonies. We’re made tough. I was back in adventure mode.

And, I had absolutely no fail-proof plan – I really had no plan at all.

That is until, as if by Divine Intervention, there was a rattle at the door and another hundred junk mail brochures were shoved through. This is my daily equivalent to, “Oh, you’re home! It’s so good to see you again!” I toddled over holding a tissue to me streaming nose and peered down in the dark. Turning the light on, what do you think was on top? A brochure from a place called “Jysk”.

If royal warrants were handed out by me, one would be firmly perched atop their front door. There was no address on the brochure but I looked them up on the web to find they had an outlet, not just on the other side of Copenhagen but also in Vesterbro – walking distance!

It was too early for a champagne but I found it hard to contain my excitement. After a quick call to Australia to inform NQDII about my find, I shot into the shower, dressed and left.

It was a good walk but not exhaustingly so and there it was, right in front of me at Vesterbrogade 65.

In no time at all, thanks two helpful assistants, my VISA card held a bed, mattress protector, sofabed, coffee table, pillows and shower curtain. It didn’t worry me that they would only deliver the big stuff and I was quite happy shuffling my way over to the new flat with two gigantic bags stuffed full of bedding. The rest is coming between 1500 and 2100hrs on Wednesday.

I’d not seen the flat before in the daylight and was surprised at how bright (as well as empty) it is. It will be good living somewhere without pit helmets being mandatory.

I found some dental floss at the mall nearby and, as I walked back here also came across a fantastic little supermarket not that much further from the other but in the opposite direction. It had everything and all very good quality. I bought some gravladlaks, organic vanilla bean ice cream and some delicious spreads. Hmm. I wish I’d found this place a few weeks ago…

Ahh… What a relief! I think I’ll have a wine.