What's a 'bogan' in Danish?

In Australia, we call a certain type of person a 'bogan' . I think Americans say redneck. In the UK they say 'yobbo' but that get's a bit confusing because a 'yobbo' or 'yob' in Australia is someone who's very aggressive, as well as lacking culture and has no social skills and doesn't want them.

I have to admit, I haven't come across many in Denmark but I can't believe there's not a slang Danish word for them. The closest I've found is 'bisse' but someone told me that's not really right either.

So what is it?

Money vs Humanity

The Worship of Mammon (the false god of greed) by Evelyn De Morgan


I received an interesting email from Australia yesterday. It was from someone talking about structure – or current restructuring – of the company they work for.

Recently, a new CEO was appointed who is based in the US. The new CEO has decided to implement what’s apparently called, ‘The American Model’, at the company. The effect of this new implementation has so far included:

• Several retrenchments
• Accepting a drop in pay or face the axe
• Accepting a drop in work hours or face the axe
• Swapping from full-time positions to consultancy or casual contracts

Sounds enticing, doesn’t it? It’s also important to keep in mind that the positions in question are pretty much all very highly skilled, as is the industry.

What it also means is that these staff members will now enjoy no real job security.

More than that, the Australian manager, who has always been regarded very favourably – indeed I thought so myself – has now become not only quite disliked for what he’s done but apparently changed markedly and embraced this ‘new regime’, espousing its merit to those who are, unfortunately for them, affected by it.

At first, I didn’t think much of him either but then I realised in this current climate, he’s a husband and a father with a family of his own to maintain. I guess he really doesn’t have a choice because he needs his job. But then from what I’ve discovered, he has used terms like, ‘now that we’re embracing “The American Model”’, which doesn’t make it sounds like he’s losing much sleep over it. Who knows? Maybe it has something to do with self-preservation.

Certainly, the American CEO couldn’t care less. He’s only interested in the bottom line, which is what life has seemed to be about up until now anyway.

What I do find remarkable is that it’s CEOs like this dickhead who, in my opinion, have helped bring the world to the state it’s in anyway. And not just American ones. They’re a global breed but you rarely see them suffering even if the company they run strikes difficulties. For some reason for which I don’t have the answer, they quite often end up resigning with enormous, actually obscene, handshakes. It’s criminal.

But that’s what our Western World is like. There’re great elements to it and there are also very ugly elements to it. We’ve become obsessed with materialism – and I’ve not been immune to this at times – and now the party’s well and truly over, especially for those who’ve over extended themselves.

I read this week where in Australia there is a glut of used Ferraris and Aston Martins for sale, selling for far under the price they were formerly worth. Suddenly, all these hotshot guys – and maybe gals – have crashed into a wall and the seams of their affluent (on paper) lives have become unstitched. It’s utterly humiliating and terrifying for them and I really do feel for them and their families if they have them.

The trouble is we place so much value on the material things we have in life. We’re wanters by nature maybe and, like sport, it’s very often a competition to see how much of it you can grab. I don’t know whether that is right or wrong but I know that when you read about fathers committing suicide because the money is gone it’s both tragic and ridiculous. I suspect they do it for a few or reasons: the personal humiliation, the failure and the desperation of not knowing how they’ll go on – not just for themselves but for their families.

While you can argue that the effect of losing everything material is worth ‘totalling’ yourself over, the ludicrous and frightening point is this particular act suggests, directly or indirectly, that we value money over humanity.

Airport funnies

I’m one of those odd types who loves airports. I make an adventure out of everything that happens, except narky Australian customs who can be very rude. I find airports the most fascinating places to watch people as they constantly bring out the very best and very worst.

This is now a couple of weeks old but when I think of it, I still get the giggles.

I was perched on one of those high stool and table set-ups at Schoenefeld airport, happily drinking German beers and scoffing down a baguette.

In walked a pimply, very young looking American kid of about 18 (I suspect) and a middle-aged woman, very well dressed with a ‘sort of’ Indian look and accent to her but not completely.

I have no idea what their relationship was, it was very hard to work out.

They sat at the table behind me and I could hear bits and pieces of their conversation. Something came up about smoking. I missed the next bit but then heard the American kid say:

“You know, like Sesame Street.”

No comment from the woman.

“Do you know Sesame Street? (In slow, baffled disbelief)

“No,” she said, adding, “Is it like Sex and the City?”

Long pause by American kid.

“Sort of. But, like, for three year olds.”

“Oh…” Said the woman. I guess trying to get an image of Sesame Street (as such!) in her head.

Denmark's public transport

I’ve heard a few Danes lament their public transport system for being unreliable at times. I can’t understand this. They should try relying on Melbourne or Sydney’s public transport system, when having your train arrive on time (or at all) is sometimes nothing short of a miracle. Indeed, it’s so bad in Melbourne at the moment that a citizen’s action group is telling passengers not to pay for tickets.

My experience here in Copenhagen is totally positive.

You have to remember Denmark is a tiny country and Copenhagen a comparatively small capital city by European standards, and even Australian standards. But despite this, they have a system that is truly remarkable and efficient.

In peak hour, the trains on the suburban lines and the metro run almost minutely. It’s so quick. If you miss one, another is there before you know it.

The trains themselves are kept pretty clean with sections in the carriage when you can take your bike and even dog!

The driverless metro trains are excellent and really do help keep the city moving.

My only gripe is with the etiquette of some Copenhageners when they board a train. It must be Australia’s UK heritage but we’re well used to queuing (without numbers) and as much of a bore as it is to wait for someone to get what ever they want at a counter and move on, we put up with it.

As you can imagine, there’s usually quite a few people waiting to get on when a train stops and, while most who are ready to embark group around either side of the door waiting for other to get off, there’s always a few who feel it is their Divine Right to just push in while people try to get out.

It’s starting to drive me insane. You know how little things can do that…

I had a frustrating day at work a couple of weeks ago and just wanted to get home. (We’ve bought bikes now, so I ride – but anyway, that’s another story). I was with a group of about 15 people waiting to get off at Østerport station.

The doors open and we start to file out but just when half of us are about out, a guy decides he must get in immediately, I guess because it will get him to his destination far quicker.

That was it.

I wasn’t in the mood and I saw red. I decided to wear my right elbow out a bit further than usual and put on the exact speed he was using to get in the train. The result was an audible grunt but I really had had enough, although I felt dreadfully guilty for being so ‘aggressive’, but there you are. I was. My halo is now skewiff.

Merry Christmas from Copenhagen

That last post was a bit of a whinge, and just ‘in cases’ I don’t get the Internet on before Christmas… (What are the chances, do you reckon? Shall we place bets?) I’ll start the festivities on a more positive note from Denmark.

What can I say about my new home and it’s countrymen and women?

For a start, they’re a very friendly bunch.

I’ve already made some good mates at work, especially in the office I share with three others. Danish humour is very similar to Australian humour – surprisingly so and we all need at least one laugh a day, especially at work.

We had our Christmas party, ‘Julefrokost’ last Friday night. I’d had a very busy week – so much for the workindenmark site saying Danes mainly work 9-5pm. Should I sue? ☺

I almost cancelled out at the last minute due to exhaustion and the fact I had a gazillion things to do on the weekend to get the flat organised for NQDII and the dog this weekend. But, I thought I better go, at least for a while. So, off I went. I told myself I would not have a late night, and anyway, being one of the newbies I probably would feel a bit of an outsider anyway.

I’m a tad ashamed to publish this globally but the fact is I arrived home at 0830 the next day, very, very, very drunk – at least by my standards. It was a very fun night but I hadn’t realised just how much Danes liked to drink. Not only drink but also mix those drinks (read, ‘Try everything’).

Consequently, I spent the entire day in bed with some seven trips out of bed to satisfy a newfound, sudden desire to look very carefully into the toilet bowl.

I have never been so sick in my life.

It took me until midday, Monday to feel human again.

How do they do it? It must be some genetic ‘thing’.

It will be a much quieter Christmas for me.