Thursday, September 4, 2008

Guilty

Yep. I feel a bit guilty at the moment.

This is why.

During the first couple of months after arriving here, I did feel a tad homesick. I missed the familiarity of life in Melbourne – friends, language, geography, the Aussie way etc.

Now, NQDII is feeling homesick.

He dreams about Melbourne frequently, so I’ve told him to go back after Christmas for a holiday. Seriously, I’d go with him but it would be a waste of money because I have no desire to go back at the moment. I feel awful that he feels like this because I don’t know the cure. I know he loves his job here but he says he misses the familiarity of living back in Melbourne.

But this has got me thinking rather traitorous thoughts. The thing is, while I did feel homesick, I honestly don’t now. Apart from our actual house, a few friends and family and SAIGON ROSE food, I don’t miss Australia at all. I don’t miss the endless obsession with sport, the ridiculous fixation with finding fortune and celebrity, the macho aggro, the boganism or the ‘Australia is the best country in the world’ bit.

I feel quite comfortable where I am.

I don’t ‘belong’ here but now, weirdly enough, I’m starting to think I really don’t belong anywhere. Sure, if I was popped back on a plane to Melbourne I’d survive but I don’t know that I’d really feel I belonged there. In retrospect, I’ve wondered lately if I ever did. Then again, I’m not-quite-Danish either. I do enjoy life here but I don’t know the words to the national anthem/s.

Gosh.

Maybe I’m destined to live as a displaced person. ☹

7 comments:

Irene said...

You have reached the fantastic point where one realises that we are all 'world citizens'! I came to that point some years ago and I carry the title with pride. Welcome to the club!

The book 'Verdensboger' by Peter Kemp is a good read, albeit in Danish...

MoMo 2.0 said...

or maybe you belong EVERYWHERE... now doesn´t that sound better?!?!

And I understand the homesickness...it comes in waves. Don´t feel guilty...it will hit you again at some point and he will be there to support you.... just part of it when we leave that place we USED to call home!

Raúl said...

me gusta mucho tu blog lo visito a menudo visita el mio y si t gusta deja un comentario y nos linkeamos los blogs

NotQuiteDanish said...

irene & kelli: Thanks for that :)

Raul: Thanks - Now I am going to have to take Spanish classes as well :)

Anonymous said...

I feel the same, as much as I bitch a lot about Copenhagen, I start to feel more hom-y in this city *shrugs shoulders*

NotQuiteDanish said...

writer: Yes, it's a weird feeling, eh?? I mean I felt *really* alien for the first few months but now, mostly, life seems reasonably normal. I'm starting to think in one way, living somewhere else is a very fortunate opportunity and quite wonderful. OTOH it sort of changes your outlook on where you came from.

EKinDK said...

Ah, poor NQDII. I feel for him. It wasn't very long ago I was feeling the same way, but now... Well, I'm with you, NQD -- time does funny things, doesn't it? A strange dynamic I remember was not *wanting* to "give up" my homesickness, if that makes sense. Sad and uncomfortable, but I understood it and it was constant in my life. My bet's on that he'll slowly start to lose that homesickness. BE ONE OF US, NQDII, JOIN US... ;-)