It’s now official. I live in the happiest nation on Earth. Yippee! That’s right. Out of all the countries in the world, and after a ten-year global survey, Danes have been voted the happiest people on the planet. (Retrenchments and what seems to be a global economic down-turn aside).
I can say, after only a short time here, I can see why. Despite paying a tax level that would send the average Australia (or American) into an instant coma, I think it comes down to the fact Danes aren’t as wrapped up in materialism as most of the rest of us in the West.
But, here we have it. It’s official. Danes are the happiest people on Earth. Which, doesn’t really explain to me why every, and I mean every, Dane I meet says, “Why did you move to Denmark?”
14 hours ago
20 comments:
I saw this interview a while ago and you're the most positive expart I've ever read on Denmark. Keep up the positivity!
Hehe. Well, I'm a firm believer in trying to see the good in most things - especially choices you make and it was with some trepidation we made the choice to move here for a while. Plus, I've been to some pretty cruddy places I'd never want to live in.
But, to me, Denmark is a very easy place to live. Sure, some things give me the irrits - like the sometimes almost communistic paperwork, rules and regulations but at least every Dane is given a fair go. There doesn't appear to be that huge gap between the haves and have-nots that there is in other countries (like Australia these days, unfortunately) and it wasn't until I moved here that I really noticed that.
As a people, I find Danes easy going with a good sense of humour and they don't take themselves too seriously. At the same time, in the industry I work in, I find them passionate about what they do. So, for me, that all adds up pretty well. I think it's a fantastic place to bring up children but I just hope the innocence they have lasts.
Of course, their customer service - just about anywhere - is borderline abysmal and even at a restaurant, you can wait for what seems like hours before anything happens.
They may take offence at this but I also love that they're a little big disorganised in some ways. We have a saying in Australia, "She'll be right, mate" - which sort of means everything will be okay in the end no matter what you might have to go through in the meantime. It's a bit like that here- and I like that about them.
I can see why some expats get frustrated being here - very frustrated - but, at the end of the day, for me, the good out-weighs the bad. (At least so far!)
- I just hope I've not mozzed myself by building them up too much!
I find the Danes are happiest people on earth because they don't really want anything else, they are just happy with what they have.....
which is of course a good thing....
but can also be regarded as a lack of ambition, as seen by an Asian like me :)
.....and not wanting to be negative, but do you know the four stage of culture shock?
http://www.squaremouth.com/travel-advice/the-four-stages-of-culture-shock/
(if anybody knows me at all - I am the grumpy expat that Bluefish might be referring to :P )
I would say that you are probably in the honeymoon period while I am probably at the regression and isolation state but I am worried that I will never get past that stage no matter what I did to be integrated to the society
Just a thought
I understand what you mean...Canada isn't so bad on the haves and havenots, as we're more a socialism society, I think. I would like meet more Danish people next time I go there instead of staying in a village doing nothing.
Speaking of customer service...I'm used to ask the salesperson to try things on and it shocked me when they didn't care. I just used the dressing room and look around myself, instead of having annoying salesperson harassing me on the latest sale. I think it's a good thing.
Also, at restaurants the waiters don't seem to want give me water or something. Or fail to notice I need more water. The restaurants I've been to were all good and they never come to ask you if everything's okay. I need my space!
Do you plan to stay in Denmark forever or you'll move back to Australia one day?
Thank writer, an interesting read and I've wondered about the honeymoon period myself. What I've thought is it might also be easier for me because two of us came, rather than on my own.
Although I've had pangs of homesickness, I think what helped that was that those I was missing dreadfully - my brother and his family - moved to Singapore about the same time I moved here, so even if I'd gone back I wouldn't have seen them anyway...
Don't worry, there are days when I really miss my friends too - catching up for dinners etc but there's not much I can do about it.
Interestingly, I have met expats who are desperately lonely here and can't wait to leave. But I find it hard working out whether their negativity towards DK is due to homesickness or an actual dislike of the place. I hope I don't get there - I hate feeling down!
So, what do you feel about it at the moment? Is it homesickness or is it more a feeling that you don't belong?
Bluefish: We came here for a year but we have good jobs and we're enjoying ourselves at so probably longer now. As for staying forever - well, who knows. I can't see that right now. So far, I really like it here but I think my Danish would have to vastly improve for me to feel like I belonged here. Plus, we know very few people and the thought of going through later life in isolation isn't exactly enticing! But, who knows? For the moment, I'm just enjoying...the moment :)
About loneliness, not really because I sort of have a "Danish" family here, which is of course my boyfriend and his nice family
(although I do understand and have heard that some expats are feeling lonely due to the difficulties in getting local friends - the Danes, that is)
....plus I Have some good friends (shopping mates and best friends altogether :P) and something that keep me busy which is the university, but I feel out of place.
It is like your guts telling you that although my home country cannot really be compared with DK, it's where I really belong, I know the language, I know the culture, and at least people are not rude to each other there (hey, I can't help that I was raised in Asian culture - I actually wrote something about this in my blog, how a Swede who works in DK also feels that the Danes are indeed rude LOL)
Oh well, I am holding on.....
Writer: I will check out that part of your blog again.
But, I understand totally that feeling of not really belonging you talk about which I also half-mentioned in reply to Bluefish.
It's the same for me too. However much I enjoy it here, I know I don't really belong - I'm just a visitor (Alien :) ) but, I suspect it's much harder if one's partner is a Dane, even if their family is fantastic.
Of course, Australia has a HUGE migrant population but now, more than ever, I can really relate to some of the challenges all those people must have faced coming to somewhere so different and so far away. Of course, most come to love it - I think because they have children and it becomes their life - but not all and I can relate to how lonely it must be for people who feel like that.
As you point out, I'm sure it's just a transitional stage. I mean, it really is a huge move to uproot and leave everything behind you are comfortable with and know well.
How do you find Danes rude. I've heard quite a few say that but have not experienced it myself - except in the post office.
Semoga hari anda menyinangkan!
Like you have pointed out, having a Dane partner somehow "forces" you to integrate better to the society and sometimes it does not work as well as it was planned. So..*shrugs shoulders*
...and I do suspect something about the Danes because they are not really getting used to see all these "foreigners" in town, unlike Australia (like you have mentioned earlier) and Canada, which can also be considered as a melting pot, so perhaps that can explain my discomfort among people when walking on the streets (even) in Copenhagen.
...and yes, I do also hope that it is just a transitional stage and that I manage to "accept" this place in the end otherwise I will just migrate to a more "migrant friendly" country :P
About Danes being rude, well, maybe something to add in your list is bus drivers :D but maybe it is only because I was raised Asian and that's a whole different culture with Danish and what's rude according to our definition is something else here in DK
Hey, thanks for the Indonesian words! Didn't know that you know some words in my language :)
I think it's true that the Danes might not used to see so many foreigners. Because immigrants tend go to North America or Australia in search of a better life. I guess not many people want to reside in Europe...anyway, I need to stay in Denmark for few months to experience this whole culture shock thing.
2 Danish men actually came to me asking if I wanted directions in Odense. I was shocked because no one in Canada will ever come up to you randomly or be helpful to tourists. I thought they were invading my personal space and got very anxious about it. I only expect such a behavior in Japan as people are known to be polite and friendly.
Re Bus drivers: Danish friends are disgusted that the Amercian exchange student staying with their friends for three months was told by a bus driver, 'In Denmark, we speak Danish' when she asked if she was on the right bus :( I've not come across anything like that yet but funny you just happened to mention that profession!
It could be just me but what I find is that Danes stare a lot. When I first arrived I found it really unsettling (although I'm sooo gorgeous to look at, I should be used to it!! :)) Maybe I'm imagining the staring bit but I don't think so because my partner has noticed it too. For a while I was really getting a complex as I thought I must have stood out like I was literally an alien!!
As for the Indonesian, well, 400 years ago I did Indonesian at school. I forget most of it but it was certainly much easier than Danish!!
Staring? I thought it was only me who has that problem because I look "out of place" here in Denmark with my Asian complexion (and to add the facts that there are indeed many uneducated Asian women emigrated in this country)
Since you said you were Australian I take it as you look Caucasian and thus look no different from the Danes?
Bus drivers are really getting on my nerves lately, I have an Indonesian friend whose daughter was "bullied" by a bus driver (saying that she could not get out from the bus because she had not paid, where in fact, her monthly bus card was still valid), just because the bus drivers thought she looked Asian and might not speak Danish and all, but that's in Jutland, so...
I've been here now for 16 months and I truly love it here. But I had to comment on the staring because I find it really amusing. For me, it hasn't been because of my looks - it's the American English.
Being of German descent, I could pass for a Dane if need be - for years whenever I've flown SAS the flight attendants have always tried to speak to me in Danish - one of these days I'll actually understand it!
But back to the staring. My husband and I speak English together (he's the dane!) so whenever we're shopping we get the stares. For the first 6 months I was here I was constantly saying "they're looking at me again!" I can't tell if it's a fascination with someone speaking English or just a curiousity at someone NOT speaking Danish, but still, it amuses me and makes me giggle. :)
I never had any problems with the bus drivers. They all seem okay and one of them even strucked a conversation with my bf when I twisted my ankle in Iceland. I looked miserable and everybody asked him what happened. I got stared at because the nurse didn't give me any crutches so I had to jump at Lynby station to Gelsted village.
Well, if you stay long enough next time, you are bound to find a rude and grumpy bus driver. Don't worry, they are everywhere :)
Wow, this is all VERY interesting -- some excellent points all around! A couple of things:
Re: "The Stares" (!) -- My husband and I have been here for a year and a half, and when we first arrived, we could NOT figure out why we were getting stared at constantly. We're both of northern European descent, dress similarly to Danes, etc., but why the prolonged looks? I LOATHE starers, and so I always stare back with a little smile, just to get them to stop, but interestingly, Danes didn't stop, so I figured I'd just have to get used to it, and I did. The thing is, I don't think they're glaring in a rude, negative way; I think this is just really common. Maybe they stare at each other, too. (And with "Friends" running on their TV 24 hours per day, looking at other live people has got to be more interetsing.) One thing that I've wondered is that my husband and I, while I'd not classify us as "Loud Americans," do talk and laugh and hold hands when we're walking down the street. Maybe that's outright weird to Danes. Who knows.
One other observation that's surfaced over the months is about expats. I've come to observe that the ones who come here expecting people and the sulture in general to resemble their home country's tend to voice a far more negative overall experience over those who come here with complete open minds. Of course, I have no scientific research to back this up; just a pretty consistent observation is all. And I can kind of say the same of Danes -- those few that I've met who were down on the States expected us to have the same attributes as "Loud Americans" -- ignorant, piggish, LOUD, uncultured, etc., but most have been very accepting and curious. (It helps that my husband works in the music industry, so we mix with a very open-minded and international lot.)
I guess the moral of this story is truly life is what you make it. If you're happy with your general standing, you're not going to be always pining for more. SO MANY Americans are chasing that "dream," and while that may be characterized as ambitious, I think it can so easily crack up to be a formula for unhappiness. There's got to be a tipping point where ambition and constant pursuit of what you don't have actually backfires. Danes have it REALLY good, period. Their government takes excellent care of them, and it shows.
One last point: Oh, how I do NOT miss being "checked on" by overzealous waitresses every 6 minutes to see "how I'm doing." And the water in restaurants thing? yeah, they don't serve it here unless you ask for it, and even then, you're charged for it! Lame, I know. (Does anyone else notice that Danes seem to NEVER EVER drink water? Just beer and coffee? I think their secretly a society of tortoises...)
I definitely did not expect Denmark to match my home country in a way, but I am just surprised how things are here, for example, the so-called educated university students who still behave in a racist way toward international students? *shrugs shoulders*
....and may I ask you a question EkinDK? Are you working here? Or just spending time as a housewife?
I don't mean to be bitchy but somehow I observe that those who are not working/ studying here, have an average more positive view than those who do.
I read Ingeniøren every Friday and local news all the time and surprise surprise most foreigners in DK (who have been living here for at least 2-3 years) have the same opinion with me.
Maybe they are not as grumpy as me, but hey, they have the same thoughts about the Danes and about tis and tat, so...I wonder why
I shall interrupt my very interesting Danish homework -am I EVER going to speak Danish fluently??? - to reply. But just a quick bit more on my Danish. We hadDanish friends and their two children 10 & 13 for dinner last night. I read out my children's Danish book to practice and while they were very complementary, I could tell by the look on their faces they had pretty much NO idea what I was saying. To make matters worse, young Master 10yo had his English homework. A harder children's book in English that he not only read out in perfectly to me but then went back and translated it into Danish. I was ready to throw myself out of the window..
EK: How funny you notice the stares too!! I'm amazed everyone has replied about this but I'm relieved it's not me and, Writer, you can relax that it's now very likely not because you're Indonesian.
I'm inclined to agree with you EK on expats. I've heard of one from Australia (I don't know her) who is planning a party as soon as she gets home to celebrate her exit from DK. I can't understand why.
Australia, quickly becoming a new state of the US by the sound of it. It is full of people chasing a dream of global success that happens to about .5% of the population - ANY western population. Strangely enough (not) there's a lot of very disappointed people wandering the streets. Sadly, friends of mine had a teenage son (18) who killed himself because he knew he was never going to be famous... Yes, this is the world we live in. Bring on a bit less ambition and a lot more good living, I say.
Writer: Firstly, EK does work but the Aussie woman I was speaking of doesn't...
I imagine it hard sometimes being Asian in a country like DK which is hardly a melting pot. There's no excuse for racism and I'm deeply sorry you've experienced it. If it helps at all, i am a red head and, believe me, it's akin to being a different race, especially growing up in Australia. As young adults, I would have thought these people might have been past all of that. What do they do/say??
You're quite allowed to be grumpy but, if it's any consolation, you would have down times in Indonesia too. There's no escaping them whether you fit in in one country or not. They happen for lots of reasons. And, you will feel good about here eventually too. I've known lots of people in AUstralia who pined for their home countries like England, Greece, Italy AND Indonesia who've finally gone back (after much longer than probably you have been away) and say they couldn't live their again! (Although then they were all down over THAT feeling!! :) )
So I don't know what the answer is but hang in there! I don't have any words of wisdom but it helps me if I keep an eye out everyday for something dejlig that I see or hear. It doesn't have to involve you but just something you observe. The bottom line is there are good and crappy people everywhere. We sometimes take more notice of the crappy ones because they make us feel bad.
I have been working intermittently, teaching at a local school and taking editing contracts, but I should also add that I spent my first year here not being allowed to work, as I couldn't get residency. Tell me THAT won't piss a person off! Yes, I do have a lot of time "off" (although, being a "housewife" has not afforded me bonbons and a personal masseuse), but the grass is always greener: I've wished I could work more (or study at the university) countless times.
I *think* I understand your grumpiness, Writer, but all I'm saying is what I've observed. This is a really tough subject that stirs emotions, for sure, but to me, the bottom line is, we're all essentially choosing to be here, so why not make the best of it. That said, making the best of a situation where you don't feel welcome can absolutely suck. Is race a factor here? Maybe it is. Am I having an easier (?) time because I'm caucasian? Some would say yes, but to me, that just doesn't seem to be the whole story, either. Ultimately, I'm trying to learn something from my experiences here, the good, the bad and the ugly, and sometimes that takes more effort than other times. I hope things get better for you!
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